Doggie Digestion and Other Party Animals
Hi! I hope you are happy and healthy.
Here are a couple of pieces from Thailand. They could just have easily come from Nepal. Both nations are devout. Both used to have potential for doing the wild and crazy.
These two bits are in the book Reincarnation Through Common Sense.
The first is in basic song lyric form. It is is a tribute to the beloved temple dogs that lived in my Buddhist temple home. The second is pretty formless, but is almost in the form of internal rhyme lyrics. It is about a saintly alcoholic German resort manager.
I hope you have as much fun reading them as I had experiencing and writing them. Thanks very much for reading, and for clicking the backlinks.
Stay well. Love, Tenzin
p.s. As always, if you find the reading at all enjoyable, please — it literally takes only seconds — click one or more or all of the highlighted backlinks following this paragraph. This simple process is completely without risk, cost, or difficulty. All it does is bring you to the site that is highlighted. Each click is a big help in pushing Fearless Puppy up in the Google rankings. Whether you browse the sites or close the windows immediately, your help has been delivered when you click. Thank you!
FEARLESS PUPPY ON AMERICAN ROAD/AMAZON PAGE
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Feeding Chilis to Dogs
PRELUDE: Buddhism is very kind to animals. The dogs at this Southeast Asian temple get treated better than most humans in any country. We comb through their fur to pick tics and burdocks off of them. They get petted, played with, and loved about as often as they want to be.
At noon, when the Monks and Nuns are finished eating for the day, the dogs get a large amount of leftovers. They eat the same white rice soaked in a variety of delicacies as the people eat. More often than not, the delicacies contain meat or seafood. These delicious dishes are prepared daily by villagers for the Monks and Nuns, but the villagers know full well that the dogs are a part of our temple community and will be finishing off these offerings.
Many of these dishes are spicy enough to scare even hardcore lovers of hot food. The dogs get everything, chili peppers included. That brought this little ditty to mind. I picture it being harmonized barbershop quartet style by four dogs ranging from puppy to old age. They all have with indigestion. It could be sung in any number of different rhythms. Pick one you like.
You comb us and feed us, you love and debreed us
if we have the worms in our stool
You let us roam ‘round as we damn well please.
You pet us and think that we’re cool
Your kindness unbounded keeps us hounds unhounded.
We’re comfy as bumps upon logs
But for the canine life of me, I just can’t see
why you feed fuggin chilis to dogs
CHORUS
Chili peppers to dogs, chili peppers to dogs
You know we eat a fast bowl
It tears us a new asshole
Buddha answer our prayer or an ulcer we’ll share
’Cause you feed chili peppers to dogs
Our coats are all shiny, they glow as if waxed
There are bones in the meat and we love you for that
Our whole lives are blessings, we never get taxed
You give us fine pork, never trimming the fat
Weeeeeee Looooooove Faaaaaaaaaaaaat !!!
We’re gratefully not in the streets getting kicked,
or born in a desert to abusive lepers
But our butts always bleed, and we’re dizzy and sick
Please give us the food, but hold out the peppers
Chili peppers to dogs, chili peppers to dogs You know we eat a fast bowl It tears us a new asshole Buddha answer our prayer or an ulcer we’ll share
When you feed chili peppers to dogs
Note: Truthfully, the dogs are well adapted to their lifelong consumption of these chilis. The spiciness of the food does not bother them at all. If the peppers were disturbing to the dogs, the Monks and Nuns would pick them out before feeding time.
PRELUDE: “Sepp” was my best friend in Thailand. He managed the resort a few miles down the beach from the temple. I was literally penniless at the time. Sepp bought me unlimited beer, smokes, food, and provided a free room whenever I would need a break from the sweet but austere bliss of the temple. He was one of the kindest, craziest people that I ever had the privilege of knowing. Sepp had fun every day, but what he did on his days off was the seed of legend throughout the community.
Sepp’s Day Off
Each morning after, I swoon, wheeze, and cough, but I still never miss my best friend Sepp’s day off. He cooks, drives, and manages — keeps his week tight, but when Sepp has a day off he sure does it right. We go out together, proceed to get plastered, and when we are done we are two drunken bastards. It’s rarely just us two. Folks always come ‘round to see what ole Sepp’s gonna do to the town.
They come from next door and from miles far away. They know on Sepp’s day off that it’s time to play. Elvis and Janis had parties galore, but compared to Sepp’s day off they were prob’ly a bore.
Sing into microphones, crank calls on telephones, trek through the jungle to a winemaking uncle, then off to the ocean — perpetual motion! Watch wildlife through telescopes, smoke lots of kick-ass dope. Bring booze to construction sites, get workers way too tight. Cook mango puree and distribute it free to random passersby while getting them high. Climb trees for coconuts and display our naked butts, topless girls flash us back with invites to rub our backs — an excellent notion, don’t forget lotion!
Visit a holy shrine, while drunk on old uncle’s wine — share some with the police, watch their tension decrease! Direct traffic on the roads to save endangered toads. Some drivers just steer, others stop to share beer.
Free English class is a local desire. We fill it with laughter wearing goth/vamp attire. No regular teacher, that plastic-fanged Whiteboy! Learning’s more fun when life is your toy.
Back at the resort we are still at our best, thrusting parties and laughter upon happy guests.
Sometimes I just stand there and laugh while I’m pissing. If you’ve not seen Sepp’s day off, you don’t know what you’re missing.
About the Author
Doug Ten Rose has hitchhiked around America for 40 years, encountering Tibetan Lamas, Native American wise people, Senators, Governors, Junkies, Winos, Hookers, Rock stars, An all-lesbian rock band playing a concert for the deaf, The modern-day Robin Hood And a whole lot more…
These and many other amazing characters are described in Fearless Puppy on American Road.
“Ten” was also rescued and adopted by a temple full of Monks and Nuns in Southeast Asia. He stayed there for a half-year, although not studying Buddhism (certainly not in any conventional sense!).
Read more about that in his second offering: Reincarnation Through Common Sense.
Many thanks to our wonderful friends at Pema Boutique Hotel for their help and support.
The books Fearless Puppy On American Road and Reincarnation Through Common Sense by this same author are also available through Amazon or the Fearless Puppy website, where there are sample chapters from those books. Entertaining TV/radio interviews with and newspaper articles about the author are also available there. There is no charge for anything but the complete books! All author profits from book sales will be donated to help sponsor an increase in the number of wisdom professionals on Earth, beginning with but certainly not limited to Buddhist monks and nuns.
If you missed the Introduction to the new book that will be titled Temple Dog Soldier, or would like to see several chapters of it that are available for free online, go to the Puppy website Blog section. This is a book in progress. You will be reading it as it is being created! Just like you, I don’t know what the next chapter is going to be about until it is written. As the Intro will tell you, this is a totally true story — and probably the only book ever written by and about a corpse journeying completely around the world!
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